A Chance For A Better Life
A cousin of mine who had some strong views against adoption is today after 12 years of marriage a proud mother of an adopted baby girl. You can see it in their eyes and the way they dote on the baby that these parents believe it to be their very own. For most childless couples adoption is the biggest and most difficult decision but once taken they all agree that it is the best decision of their life. Most of the even regret having not taken this much earlier.
The arrival of a child brings abundant happiness and takes the couple from being husband and wife to a higher level of being parents a role that can be challenging as well as fun. Children complete a marriage and fill the void in the family circle.
All of us are aware that in our country adoption is always the last option and is not easily accepted. Before we jump to blame society there are two paramount aspects regarding adoption and they are
- Acceptance by the couple themselves and
- Acceptance by the child
Some of the apprehensions faced by the couple are
- Will they be able to bond with the child as their own since it is not their blood?
- Will they be good parents? The confidence factor.
- What if there is any hereditary negative trait which might affect the character of the child?
But the fact is
All of us know that some children bond better with their caretakers or grandparents than their own parents. This bonding happens only when you spend quality time with the child and make them feel wanted and secure.
Parenting skills don’t come with the birth of a child but by being with a child. It is a two way process which develops the relationship between the parent and child.Lastly the character of a child is first and foremost molded by the parents, followed by environment and upbringing, education, experiences and one’s own effort. Genes have no role in it. It is the duty of the parents not only to provide but also bring up the child as a good individual with values and this is irrespective of child being one’s own or adopted.
Once these couples realize this, it automatically paves the way for the child to accept that and this is vital. When the child feels completely secure in the presence of parents and fully trusts them and their love the eventual knowledge of their adoption will not affect them and in fact make them stronger to face society.
Ultimately family and society is left with no option but to embrace them into their fold. No child is born with a stamp of caste, creed or religion. It is family and society that instills it in them so I guess there should be no difference in case of an adopted child.
Today a lot of couples are opening up to adoption. They are ready to wait for 2 to 3 years for the adoption agencies to approve. The agencies should be sensitive towards these genuine couples and despite stringent rules should speed up the process and coordinate all children from other homes, orphanages etc. Legal procedures should be hassle free and there should also be regular counselling sessions.
Children are a gift from God and are a bundle of joy. They bring out the best in parents and they learn to care, be patient, set an example and most importantly shower their unconditional love. Thus when these couples get an opportunity to adopt a child they are giving the child and themselves A Chance for a Better Life.