ATTENTION DEFICIT – IN KIDS OR PARENTS????

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ATTENTION DEFICIT – IN KIDS OR PARENTS????

Image Courtesy Google

Image Courtesy Google

                   Children by nature are active, love to explore their surroundings by moving around and rarely sit in one place. Since this keeps even parents on their toes they heave a sigh of relief when kids begin pre-school. Pre-school and early K.G is mainly for kids to get into the habit going to school, mingle with other kids, develop speaking and listening skills and indulge in activities that involve sitting and focusing. While most kids blend into the system there are some who are reluctant and even refuse to adapt. Parents and at times even teachers neglect it in the belief that these kids need more time. But suddenly without even realizing it escalates and leads to ADHD-ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVE DISORDER.

It is very difficult to draw a line between regular inattentiveness but yes there are some distinguishable symptoms such as

  • Restlessness- tendency to squirm and fidget.
  • Inability to sit in one place when quiet behavior is expected.
  • Excessive talking.
  • Blurting out answers when not asked.
  • Interrupting others-inability to take turns.
  • Going around dashing and playing with whatever in hand.

  ADHD is prevalent in kids between 4 and 8 but it can also be seen in adolescents and older teenagers.

        These kids are mostly to themselves, lack social skills and are unable to make friends. They have problems in focusing and even sitting and writing. Their concentration span is very less. ADHD can be rectified with effective counselling, lifestyle changes, behavioral therapy and medication is prescribed only in extreme cases or in genetic disorder cases.

        Alright, now that I am done with googled information let me do what I like doing most and that is sharing my thoughts and observations.

         To begin with while there are a few cases of ADHD due to medical reasons most of them are as a result of situation,  environment , upbringing and for this parents are responsible directly or indirectly.         Some parents lay more stress on physical aspects of parenting and ignore the emotional aspect. Parenting is not just ensuring that your child is well fed, comfortable, well dressed, pampered with toys and gadgets and finally getting the admitted in a hi-fi school.

      Today there are parents who

  • Conveniently plonk their child in front of the idiot box so that they can finish their work.
  • Tell the child to shut up when they want to speak as they are busy, tired or want to wind up dinner fast.
  • Ask the child to play by themselves or with a gadget as they cannot join.
  • Knowingly or unknowingly make the child a witness to household squabbles and disturbances.

    Children have impressionable minds and all this can have a negative impact on them. They either go in to a shell or become hyperactive and display negative behavior to gain attention.

    Parents need to

  • Be there and spend quality time with their child.
  • Talk and play with the child and not expose them to too many gadgets.
  • Observe their child’s behavior and rectify mistakes right from beginning itself.
  • Sit and read or do activities with their child.
  • And most importantly get to know their kids and the thoughts running in their minds.

It is the responsibility of parents that along with physical comfort provide the child with abundant emotional security. That is why even counselors insist that parents are present and participate during sessions. Results are achieved only when parents put in double effort in replicating the counselors’ instructions and actions.

         Hyperactive kids are sensitive by nature. Their excess energy needs to be channelized in the right direction. In fact these kids who can’t stay in one place or do any activity for a long time can actually sit for a long duration to do their favorite activity in which they are actually talented. They do have observation, learning and understanding skills it is just that their concentration span needs to be increased gradually. Parents need to be patient, encourage their talent and take them forward step by step to get them adjusted to regular system.

        Finally the answer for the question ATTENTION DEFICIT – in kids or parents??? is KIDS WILL PAY MORE ATTENTION WHEN THEY GET THE UNDIVIDED ATTENTION OF THEIR PARENTS.

Athena Mira

A new time, a new era and a new topic of the week. This week we are looking at ‘parenting plus’ and dealing with the slightly difficult aspects of parenting. To read more on parenting try Dear God, Please give me a sonTips to avoid disasters at home for kids and After All She Is A Girl.

If you would like to help a child cope with ADHD try reading some really good books like Teaching your children with ADHD: Successful Strategies and practical interventionsI Can’t sit still : living with ADHD and The ADHD workbook for kids.

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8 Responses

  1. Chaitanya says:

    Well researched. As a Medical and Psychiatric social worker I feel that many parents are also not ready to accept that sometimes their child might have a difficulty. Approaching a hospital to get tests done and getting counselling is not a bad thing and parents need to be aware of the options that they have and that does not happen unless and until acceptance settles in.

  2. Bill Merrifield says:

    As a parent of a child with ADHD there are a number of points in this post that I would like to questions. (1) ADHD is a neurological condition. Whether or not it is misdiagnosed is a secondary question, but for children who are properly diagnosed this is a biological issues. This means that this is not the fault of parents or schools, it is part of the fabric of the child. This also means that medication is not only for extreme cases. Medication should be used with other interventions, but medication is a proper response to a proper diagnosis. (2) Parents can learn skills to help guide their children through a school and home environment that is difficult for a child with ADHD. It is important to address ADHD holistically which means learning how to help direct your child, how to respond appropriately to their behavior, strategies for learning, etc. An ADHD child needs special attention and care. (3) Dealing with a child with ADHD is challenging. It is important to embrace our role as parents in trying to help our children figure out how they can flourish with the challenges they face. There are no easy answers and no quick solutions. We cannot also simply blame TV or formal education. I feel like one of the worst things to do in the context of Lebanon is to make struggling parents who are trying to help and understand their child feel like their child’s struggle is the fault of the parents or easily “fixed.” ADHD is not something you fix, it is something your learn to manage. I agree with the above post in that acceptance of your child’s struggle is a very important first step in helping your child (and yourself).

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Total respect for everything that you have written, what Athena Mira has written is from seeing and observing parents in the Indian context. All we are trying to say is try to give your child the time that they require. Give them undivided attention to help them cope with this problem that they are facing.

  3. Indrani says:

    A totally new topic for me. I am a lot more aware now.

  4. A very interesting post Athena. I had a basic knowledge of what an attention deficit can create, but the link the hyperactive behaviour wasnt thought at all. This makes it all the more interesting..

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