Bringing Up Twins
Welcoming double bundles of joy in my life, I had no idea about the upheaval, they would make of it. While the pregnancy itself was not an easy one, I had to be bed ridden for most of the duration, caring for twins is a different matter altogether from caring for a single child and I am sure everyone will agree it is no piece of cake.
It is a norm among babies to spend their first night in this world crying. So imagine my plight, when both of them exercised their vocal chords to their highest capacity. New born babies recognize their mothers through their sense of smell and probably that was the reason that the baby which I cradled in my arms would calm down and doze off. But when I hand over the sleeping child to my mom so that I could attend to the other twin, it was chaos all over with both of them wanting to be held by me. It was quite some time till the little ones were placated and that was just the beginning.
Once home, things looked a little better with so many aunts and cousins coming over to help. But lack of sleep and postpartum blues got to me and night after night of struggling to stay awake feeding the kids and changing diapers were the only things that I seemed to be doing. After the influx of guests was over and daily routine set in, one thing became clear; looking after them single-handedly was not an option at all. When one baby settles down following a long crying session, after much cajoling and singing lullabies, only to be woken up in an impossibly short time by the other baby’s cries, I literally had my hands full.
The nocturnal waking gradually stopped at about three months and the rolling over and crawling days began. That was one tough time. I had to be alert at all times, for many a times, they would roll over and fall down, the minute I was away to fetch something. There always had to be someone to mind one twin, while I was busy with the other. Gradually, I attuned their feeding and sleeping patterns at the same time, so that I can prepare their bottles and rock them to sleep simultaneously and get a little ‘me’ time for myself. It was at this time that I took over completely as a hands-on mom.
Childhood’s near constant companions i.e. colds and coughs always affect them both at the same time, due to their proximity. It was impossible to keep their sippers, soothers and toys separate and I had to be extra careful in sterilizing the stuff, in order to minimize the chances of infections. The next stage of crawling and trying to stand up began and it was at this time the kids became aware of each other’s presence and the rapport between them developed. Things became a little easier and a little less hectic, as they were up and about playing and discovering nooks and crannies. I had to get two of everything, be it toys or clothes even today and dare I get two different things, a full- fledged row begins as to who got the better one.
Once school started things became almost normal. Apart from the first year of schooling, when I had to teach them the alphabets, the consecutive years were relatively easier, as I could teach both of them the same time. The squabbles and fist fights continue even today, now that they are about 8 years old, but they have deep attachment to each other. Growing up together, they have an innate sense of sharing everything, be it things or secrets and they are always on lookout for each other. And they didn’t feel any animosity towards their baby brother when he was born, as they were used to sharing me with each other already and joyfully welcomed the new addition to our family.
Although I had a tough time bringing them up, it was a unique and enriching experience and I feel a sense of pride, joy and fulfillment that I did it single-handedly, well, almost.
Parenting is a hands on job and then comes parenting plus where you are stretched to every possible limit. Athena Ayesha has three kids and is a hands on mom. If you want to catch more on parenting plus try She survived the odds and lives to tell the tale, Even little boys aren’t safe and Attention deficit- in kids or parents?