Hands on Parenting

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Hands on Parenting

This week , we have read about the various aspects of parenting that people engage in. Today, we shall focus on this type of parenting, where the parents, or rather, the mother takes upon herself, the whole mantle of parenting single-handedly, without delegating any part of it to others. Ergo, hands-on parenting.
HANDS ON PARENTING
This type of parenting has its ups and downs. Let us see the advantages first.

1. By being a hands-on mother, no doubt, the mother-child bonding is immediate and long-lasting. The mother experiences a great sense of contentment by looking after her baby’s needs. she becomes so attuned to the rhythms of her baby’s requirements,be it, hunger, sleep,joy or discomfort that mother can, at a glance, pinpoint it exactly and do the necessary.

2. The manners, mannerisms and characteristics of kids are greatly influenced by the people who surround them. In this case, if the child is looked after, exclusively by the mother, he will naturally mimic her to some extent. This puts on additional responsibility on the mother to be on her best behavior at all times, in order for the child to cultivate good language and etiquette.

3. Next comes education. Apart from sending the kid to school on time, getting him ready, packing his lunch box, school bag etc. the mother has to make time helping out with the kid’s homework, his various school assignments and that extra hour and coaxing during exam times. Computers and internet access has to be provided to the kids, for their school work and in order to keep an eye for inappropriate viewing, and child grooming sites, the mother has to be up to date and tech savvy.

4. Another aspect that cannot be ignored is the transition of the kids from childhood to adulthood. The adolescence, which every mother fears, tests her patience to the limit. But remembering that teenagers undergo through their own private hell, will help us soften our attitude to their misdemeanors at that testing time. A mother, being the mother, is the best guide to help her child pass through this confusing and transitory stage.

By shortlisting these above ups, we can surely conclude that only a mother can have the instincts and sixth-sense that is needed to bring up a child, by protecting their interests and shielding them, albeit temporarily, from the harsh realities of this world and make them healthy, responsible, educated and emotionally well-balanced individuals.

Now about the disadvantages. Every coin has another side. Likewise, bringing up a child single-handedly has its downs too.

1. Looking after a child exclusively makes the mother restless, edgy and ill-tempered. Any individual can experience this, if they don’t get enough time for rest, and looking after a child is a 24 hours, 7 days a weeks job. But if the mother wishes to do so, then she must at least let go or delegate some of her other responsibilities like house work, grocery shopping and such generic housework to others or employ some one to do it.

2. Getting short breaks regularly, the time of which should be spent only on self, be it shopping, beauty regime, music or simply relaxing, will produce wondrous results. A well rested,
well groomed and well informed mother will be in no doubt, much better than a harassed, over-worked and ill-tempered one. So, mothers, you need not feel guilty, if you have wish for some me time. If you are in good spirits, you will naturally be more affectionate and tolerant to your child, and the bonding will be much more effective.

3. While helping small kids with their homework might be a tedious job, it can be done with lots of coaxing and cajoling. But as kids gets older, the studies get tougher and most mothers find it difficult to help their wards. It is at this stage, that tuition has to be considered. Getting help at this stage is a good step for both mother and the child, for the mother will get some much needed respite and kids some expert help.

From these evaluations, we can safely assume that the positive side far outweighs the negative side of hands on parenting. What is needed is a fine balance to do what is absolutely essential and skip or outsource some of the other duties. And ultimately, being there when your child needs you, even before his saying so, and at the same time giving him enough space to breathe is absolutely essential.
so, kudos to hands on parenting and a big salute to all those mothers who do it. It is the right way to go.

Athena Ayesha

School free parenting to hands on parenting, with kids there is surely so much to do. Read up a little more and enjoy parenting. Try Not a puppet but an individualHave you ever? and Is it safe to out source parenting?

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4 Responses

  1. shafiya says:

    Hands on parenting job is neither easy nor appreciated one where usually the mother is taken for granted.This post brings out the fine nuances of joys of parenting.Good piece Ayesha.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Ayesha there is a Facebook forward that comes to my mind where a little kid asks his mother how she knows every little thing about parenting. The mother replies that it is on the how to be a mommy test. The child thinks for a while and then says so if you fail the test does that make them daddy. Kudos to you to be such and active parent.

      I am not blaming or branding men here but at least the society that we live in, its the women all the way.

  2. mira says:

    very true hands on parenting is mostly associated with moms but I believe even dads should involve themselves as it will bring the family together as a whole.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      A mother who is running from pillar to post has written this post and hats off to her. Agreed that the dads should step up and take responsibility. As of now there are barely one or two men that I know who are actively involved in their child’s life, the rest are just there to provide the finances and maybe to coach football.

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