Home Sweet Home???

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Home Sweet Home???

home sweet homeHome- Where we’re supposed to feel safe. A place we can relax let our hair down and be ourselves. Home, a safe haven. A place of refuge from the crazy world out there. Right? Yeah right.

When we are threatened by evil and vice in the world outside, we run home to take refuge. But what if evil exists inside our supposed safe haven, threatening to swallow us whole? Where do we run then?

As Aadhya so adroitly pointed out in a previous post, violence does not have any place in domestic home life. Yet it does. And I’m not talking about the slam-bang type of physical violence. No. What I’m talking about is more subtle and the resulting wounds are deep-seated and psychological. And they do not heal as easily as the physical wounds.

Sowmya was told in no uncertain terms by her parents that SHE was the reason for all the troubles they had ever faced in life. And all because she dared to point out the obvious mistake they were making with regards to her brother’s demands. This one statement has sent her into a tailspin, making her question her very existence. It was only because she is a strong, sensible person surrounded by sensible friends that she managed to survive this psychological attack and still remains whole in mind and body. In the blink of an eye, the illusion she had had about a family who cherished her came crashing down like a ton of bricks.

In this instance, the victim wasn’t actually subjected to a barrage of physical blows. But those few words proved to be more potent and hit their mark with more precision than hands and fists ever could have. They had penetrated straight into her psyche and unlocked deep-rooted insecurities which for a while, played havoc with her self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Cruel words have the power to shred a person’s self-confidence within a matter of seconds. And the damage is long-term and cannot be easily undone.

Feeling unloved and unwanted is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. And women around the world are subjected to such psychological abuse by parents, spouses and partners every day. When a woman’s self-esteem and self-confidence are torn to shreds, it becomes easier to control and manipulate her as she starts feeling worthless. This is the most dangerous form of abuse and also the most difficult to detect.

So what can we do to protect ourselves from psychological abuse? Simple. We just have to tell ourselves that we are the best there is and more important, we HAVE to believe those words. When our self-belief and sense of self-worth is strong, psychological weapons will lose their potency. Sure, it might hurt for a while, but eventually, it will roll off like water off a duck’s back. We must always remember that WE are our best friends and well-wishers. No one can love us more than we love ourselves. And when we love and believe in ourselves, we can withstand and overcome such attacks. And when we do that, home will indeed become a safe haven.

Cheers to us!


The world of domestic violence is not only for others, it could be that you and me maybe facing some form of domestic violence, to get an idea about others forms of domestic violence try The Bleeding HeartDomestic+ Violence = Downfall of women, Every penny she spends is every penny worth and Let us bring violence against women to a halt.

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8 Responses

  1. BHAVIKK SHAH says:

    Thanks for sharing this fantastic post…really domestic violence is an serious issue..anyways
    Beautiful write…keep it up
    And thanks for visiting..
    Have a great day ahead
    Bhavikk shah

  2. Vijay Prabhu says:

    Very informative post Athena, questions our intelligence and the way we deal with DV.

  3. Indrani says:

    A woman’s advice is always undervalued in most Indian families. This need to change.
    Great post on this issue.

  4. shee_shee12345 says:

    Physical scars can heal, the emotional and psychological ones don’t. Even ladies who are victims of physical violence say that the injuries is not what hurts the fact that you treated as a nothing is what hurts.

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