How To Be A Better Mother?

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How To Be A Better Mother?

There are so many things that are required to be a good mother. But the one and most important thing that you need in abundance is ‘patience’.How to be a better mother

I am sure that most of the mothers will agree with this. Mother is in other words “patience personified”. Right from the day a baby arrives in this world to the day that he/she becomes an independent person; a mother’s patience is tested in various degrees with the stages that the child progresses through.

 In order to be a better mother, it is essential that you relegate some of your other duties. You have to make sure that your child is your first priority. Trying to do everything yourself, will get you nowhere. You will end up feeling tired and irritated all the time and this in turn will affect the way, you look after your child.  Looking after a child is no ‘child’s play’. It needs lots of energy, positive approach, never-ending patience, putting up with sleepless nights (thankfully, for a short time) and right amount of firmness.

The first stage of being a mother is quite easy. You just have to take care that the baby is fed, clean and healthy. No mental agony, just sheer physical exhaustion, which can be remedied by taking cat naps along with your baby, provided that you have someone to help you out with household chores.

The real mothering begins when the child is up and about and it is at this stage that they require constant attention.  Making your home child-safe is one of the first things that you should do for your baby. Majority of accidents that happen to a child is at his/her place. Taking care of open electrical sockets, keeping sharp and breakable objects out of reach, medicines, especially those of the kids themselves (as they tend to consume it because of their fruity flavors) in a locked cupboard, boarding up of stairwells and open balconies, to protect the kid from falling over and making sure that your kid is never alone in a bathroom, till he is sensible enough are a few steps to ensure your kid is safe from any fatal or grievous injuries.

Now coming to the tricky part, How to make them disciplined, good-mannered and bringing them up to be well-balanced, happy individuals?  The answer is not giving in to their every demand. The child should have the capacity to take “no’’ for an answer. Coming to terms with not having something that they desire or inability to fulfil their every wish is something that needs to be hammered in time and again. They need to learn the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘luxuries’. It is not a question of whether the parents can afford it or not. It is to make the kids realise that even though they don’t get everything that they want, life goes on. If they are unable to fulfil any goal that they set up for themselves, there are always other options available. It need not be the end of the road for them.

These  values are especially more relevant now as we see an increase in the numbers of kids and teenagers’ suicide cases reported and that too for silly and flimsy reasons. They should be made to realise that they are our most precious gifts from god and whatever stuff happens are meant to happen. Making children grounded and god-fearing at a younger age helps them from getting depressed and prevents them from taking the extreme step.

Communication should always be open between the kid and the mother, so that the kid confides in you. Whatever wrong that they do, they should be tackled in such a way so as to make them realise that we dislike the wrong thing that they did and not him/her. Shouting or hitting them will result in communication gaps. Furthermore, they need to be advised that any wrong that they do will be forgiven as long as realise their mistake and never do it again.

And finally, the best gift that a mother can give her kid is a sibling. Growing up with a sibling gives you a companion to share your childhood with. Kids to learn to share and care for others, very early in life. The bond one shares with a brother/sister is a unique one and most often, they tend to be their back-up support system in any crisis throughout their life. So mothers, going for a second baby is a good idea

Mothering can be quite stressful and being a good mother is trying at times. But it gives great satisfaction to see your child grow. Watching a child grow is a joy in itself and it is up to the mothers to provide a happy environment for them to grow up in. And so, let us better ourselves and make good jobs of our kids’ upbringing. This is Athena Ayesha inspiring some change in all you mothers who have the toughest job in the world.

Athena Ayesha

For more inspirational reads for us women try Inspiring Change- Where to start? and A Better me.

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9 Responses

  1. Sheela Pakianathan says:

    A nice article on the role of a mother. Mothers have a variety of roles to perform. Sometimes she should be a friend for children then only we can know what is running in their mind. We should keep little bit of secrets too with them to make them feel we are with them. At the same time, we should be firm on certain decisions so that they don’t develop any bad habits. When they are small we can always tell good values in the form of stories or incidents with imaginary names. Develop the habit of doing their homework on their own, make their beds, keep their shoes etc in the shoe rack, and used clothes in the wash bin, waste paper in the dust bin. Teach them hospitality in serving water or easy snacks to guests. Also welcome the father when he comes home tired by taking his brief case and make him sit and give him water first.
    All these small things will help them when they get married or when they are in hostel for higher studies.

  2. Sheela Pakianathan says:

    All these small thingsA nice article on the role of a mother. Mothers have a variety of roles to perform. Sometimes she should be a friend for children then only we can know what is running in their mind. We should keep little bit of secrets too with them to make them feel we are with them. At the same time, we should be firm on certain decisions so that they don’t develop any bad habits. When they are small we can always tell good values in the form of stories or incidents with imaginary names. Develop the habit of doing their homework on their own, make their beds, keep their shoes etc in the shoe rack, and used clothes in the wash bin, waste paper in the dust bin. Teach them hospitality in serving water or easy snacks to guests. Also welcome the father when he comes home tired by taking his brief case and make him sit and give him water first. All these small things will help them when they get married or when they are in hostel for higher studies.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      All the years of experience in bringing up two brats is visible in this comment. For those of you regular readers, Sheela is my mom. Hats off to her to bring up such a naughty brat like me.

  3. mira says:

    Besides these more than anyone else it is a mother who should provide space to child and trust the child with it. rather than an attitude of I know what is best for you, do this, don’t do that, she should be bore of a guide as this will help the child to grow as an independent individual.

  4. mira says:

    I meant more of a guide

  5. shafiya says:

    God said that I cannot look over you always so I created mother. how true. there is no one like a mother to make you feel loved and looked after.As kids grow they think their parents only as their keepers .It takes them quite sometime to realize the true value of having a caring mom.nice post Ayesha.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      You and me are playing the mommies role and so understand the difficulties and value our mothers. Soon our kids will become parents and then they too will understand why we are such task masters at times.

  6. ayesha says:

    Thank you folks for your feedback. The inputs from sheela ma’am , Mira and shafiya are valuable and covers the points that I have overlooked. Mothers are out

  7. ayesha says:

    Sorry. Mothers are very important. But a note to the mothers who always whine about their kids. Just imagine the void if they are not with us. So let us thank god that we are mothers and hats off to the mothers who seem to effortlessly bring up the kids. We Know the efforts involved.

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