In The Name Of Customs

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In The Name Of Customs

       The birth of a girl child automatically tightens the purse of the household and every penny possible is saved right from day one. These are  modern parents and are not going to give any dowry but still extra savings are needed as giving and taking dowry is a crime but FOLLOWING CUSTOMS IS DEFINITELY NOT.CUSTOMS

So what are these customs????

  • To begin with the boy’s parents are also modern and don’t want a single paisa as dowry but you see the girl is going to be their ‘Ghar Ki Lakshmi’ so it is inauspicious and against custom if she does not enter the household as Goddess Lakshmi personified that is with required jewels, silk clothes, accessories, furniture , vessels etc. After all everything is for their daughter only.
  • Although the engagement is Boy’s side function it is Custom for the girl’s side to provide sweets  for the guests and clothes for the groom’s family. It is also tradition to give some gold to the boy.
  • The responsibility of the wedding is traditionally of the girl’s  side and since they are not paying any dowry the can at least ensure a grand hall and menu as after all weddings happen once in a life time so what if the girl’s parents have to shell out a life time of savings for it.
  • The festivals following the first year of marriage are very important and it is a custom  that the girl’s side give clothes , gifts and sometimes even jewelry be it for Karva Chaut,  Navratri, Diwali etc. It is supposed to bring prosperity to their daughter and her household and how can her parents compromise on that.
  • When the girl is expecting it is custom for her to go to her parent’s home for delivery and they have to bear all the expenses as it is their daughter. Once again when the daughter and the grandchild go back how can they return empty handed as the grandchild has to add to the prosperity of the household.
  • On  the granschil’d first birthday it is custom that the Nana Nani attend the fuction with auspicious gifts and jewel for their grandchild.

        Well these are just a few and besides these important customs it is also a custom for the girl’s side to present some Shagun for her husband’s side functions be it house warming, puja etc.

    No wonder in our country daughters are considered to be life time responsibility or may I say burden. Anyway who am I to question our rich age old traditions and customs which are followed strictly or even compromised at times? But one Custom I believe which is observed judiciously till date is to Loot the Girls Parents in the name of Customs.

Athena Mira

As we write we are learning more and as you read I am sure you too are learning more. To enlighten yourself more about dowry try Stop bidding start choosingDowry- A look into history and Dowry? What dowry?

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8 Responses

  1. nabanita says:

    My blood boils reading about dowry and such pathetic customs!

  2. Abhra says:

    Well, one man alone can not change the society – but I did my part in doing so. When my wife was expecting, I said that I want to be her – all the time I could and help as much through it – it will be a life long memory of how those few months passed.

  3. Khushboo says:

    Dowry unfortunately has taken a turn for a worse now. Instead of asking for it directly, many well educated boys say, “Please give whatever you want to your girl from your heart”. With rise in incomes, dowries are getting heftier and heftier!

  4. Dowry is a Unfortunate Truth of Indian Society.

  5. Fayaz Pasha says:

    Very true? Most of them religiously follow the customs and traditions in order to please the Society. However, if they ever think of pleasing the Creator following Religious tenets, many a social evil would have never existed. It is unfortunate however that people prefer Vice over Virtue.

    If the present generation should take heed and avoid all these customs, there is a hope that the future generations will be spared of all the miseries.

  6. matheikal says:

    Hats off to you, Athena, for highlighting these important issues. I haven’t followed any custom in my married life unless I found it valuable in some way. Most of these customs that fleece the girl’s family are absurd and should be eradicated.

  7. Indrani says:

    Very depressing! These customs should be done away with.
    Imagine the conditions of parents who can’t afford and the daughters getting taunted. A strict law should be passed to curb these practices.

  8. shee_shee12345 says:

    I am tired of waiting for a law to be passed and then we all try to enforece it. I think the best would be to follow by example. Abhra what you have done for your wife is every girls dream. Following only customs which are worth it like Matheikal sir can actually make the difference that is needed. Men shouldn’t demand it and women should learn to say no.

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