Open Your Eyes, You’ll Find The Way Out

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Open Your Eyes, You’ll Find The Way Out

OPEN YOUR EYESDomestic violence and physical Abuse! While few women have courageously and successfully stood up against this there are majority of them who are yet to find a solution. But sadly this majority is those women who do not want a solution, why? Because they have ACCEPTED IT as a part of marriage and have learnt to adjust to their occasional violent outbursts of their husbands. They believe that this is minor aberration in the otherwise perfect husband.

The reasons for their adaptation are plenty starting from upbringing, security of marriage, misconstrued idea of respect, family compulsion and social status and so on and so forth. Yet the one age old reason which reigns supreme is LOVE.

Dear Ladies if you truly love your husband instead of tolerating and forgiving his behaviour you should be rectifying it. Loving your husband should not be at the cost of your self-respect, because physical abuse of any kind can do a severe damage to your morale.

Keeping silent can lead to disastrous repercussions in the long run as what begins as occasional will move on to quite often and before you realize it will become a daily affair. You will have no one to blame but yourself as you have been equal partner in crime by making yourself a convenient outlet for your husband’s outbursts.

So wake up and curb it before its toooooooooooo late. There is always a ray of hope. As usual it all begins with attitude which is the tonic for your actions.

First and foremost there is no need to have a sense of obligation towards your husband. If your husband is taking care of home, family and providing all needs and indulgences remember you are the one who made his house a home, gave him a family to pamper and much needed emotional security which is more important than financial security. So why should you bear the brunt of his violence. Only if you realize yourself worth you can make others including your husband realize your worth.

Secondly you should be assertive in saying no to physical abuse and put a permanent full stop to it. Crying and pleading never helps and is a sign of weakness. If serious talking fails try the silent treatment. If you allow your husband to cover a bruise with a kiss then remember that you are only a toy in his hands with which he plays at his own will.

Physical and emotional detachment for a while drives a strong message. It’s tough and if you feel you cannot handle it alone then don’t hesitate to seek help and cooperation from a supportive family member or members. Do your duties, infact make yourself more indispensible to your husband and household but be completely stoic towards your husband. Nothing is more frustrating for a man than an unresponsive wife as he is also emotionally insecure and in his anger and frustration if he flings the dinner plate then it’s okay even if you fling it back with more anger and force. (The choice is yours.)

Ultimately the point is your husband should learn to take you seriously, be sensitive to your feelings and apart from loving you should also respect you for the person you are.

Every problem has a solution if you are determined to find it. The battle is half won when you Open your eyes to it, as you’ll find the way out.

Athena Mira

Domestic violence is a problem where there are many women who don’t even understand that they are being abused and here are a few eye opening posts to learn more about Domestic Violence Every penny she spends is every penny worthHome Sweet Home and Let us bring violence against women to a halt.

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6 Responses

  1. Harsha says:

    Love is at a one side,I believe if someone can’t understand or respect you,love has no meaning..For a relationship to be fruitful there must understanding and respect between the Husband and Wife more than love.. :)

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      The problem in India is that we girls are taught from day one to compromise and the first thing we learn to compromise is our self respect.

  2. Indrani says:

    So true about the abusive husbands. The first time he strikes you know that is his nature and he will never change. Best to walk out of such relationships.
    Very well written post.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Walk out is an option for you and me but to many women in India its not an option at all and that is where I feel the government should come up with some sort of agencies or help and as I always say its up to all of us to keep creating that awareness.

  3. The key is zero tolerance. If the husband sees that he can get away with little things, that sets the tone of the marriage right from the start. Women should make it damn clear at the very beginning that if he lays a finger on her, that’s the end of the marriage. Either that, or she will hit him back in full retaliation to settle the score!

    It’s all about expectations. It’s very hard to change it later on once it’s already set.

  4. shee_shee12345 says:

    Either that, or she will hit him back in full retaliation to settle the score! – what a statement, would frame this one and someday surely post it as a quote.

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