Every Penny She Spends Is Every Penny Worth

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Every Penny She Spends Is Every Penny Worth

A middle class homemaker takes tuition in the evenings, a bank manger’s wife takes cookery classes and a businessman’s wife does part time jewellery designing. Though not a necessity these women do these small jobs as like every other woman they would like to have a little amount of money which they can call their very own and most importantly do not have to ACCOUNT for. It gives them a true sense of independence which no husband can easily understand or digest. And why do they need this?

Here are a few answers

  1. You spent Rs.100/- for an auto.
  2. You seem to have bought provisions twice this month.
  3. Children seem to need a pair of shoes every year.
  4.  I think the sabziwala is taking you for a ride.
  5. Do you really need to buy such an expensive gift for your cousins wedding?
  6. This month’s movie and dinner has put a big hole in my pocket.
  7. Do you really need this brand of cosmetics, anyway you don’t go out much and you are a mother now.
  8. I slog my heart and soul at office and you people don’t know the value of money.

And so on and so forth.

The super responsible bread winners of the family might argue that it is indeed their duty to provide for the family, by and large take care of their requirements and indulgences not only for the present but also save for the future, education of children, health care blah, blah, blah………and hence justify their tendency to account for every expenditure.

But what is not palpable to them is that these comments whether made in a lighter vein or seriously are the ones that their wives are most sensitive about and what they fail to understand is that their wives

  1. Would have thought a 100 times before getting into that auto.
  2. She had to buy extra provisions because of unexpected guests and holidays in between when extra delicacies had to be prepared.
  3. Husband’s foot size doesn’t grow and all he does is sit in his office wearing shoes unlike his growing children who are into sports.
  4. They would have haggled their breath out before paying the sabziwala and not to forget the extra dhaniya patta she would have extracted from him for free.
  5.  Their side relatives are as important as husband’s side sole relatives.
  6. A family outing or a gift to a wife loses its purpose the moment you mention the price tag.
  7. Just because they stay at home or are mothers it does not mean that they need not take care of their looks.
  8. And most importantly If he slogs at office his wife slogs double taking care of children and running the household which is more challenging from his job.She very well knows the value of money and with her shrewd sense most diligently juggles between different household expenditures always sticking to the budget. She even has a flair for saving as she always manages to set apart the little emergency petty cash and we all know that a man may run out of cash but it can never happen to a woman.

When a wife doesn’t doubt the capability of her husband to earn for the household, likewise the husband should never underestimate her capability to run the household and not subject her to micro level accounting.

Every Penny She Spends Is Every Penny WorthFinally when a wife gives complete freedom and trust to a husband to handle his earnings and savings it is imperative that the husband reciprocate the same.

While the husband concerns about the security of an uncertain future the wife all sees to it that a certain present is not missed not so even if she buys slippers from a road side vendor or gives an impromptu ice cream treat to her children, it is okay as “Every Penny She Spends IS Every Penny Worth.” 

Athena Mira

When we talk about domestic violence there is a lot to it than just the physical abuse, to catch more on the different kinds of abuse read The Bleeding HeartDomestic+ Violence = Downfall of women and Let us bring violence against women to a halt.

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15 Responses

  1. Sakshi Nanda says:

    Wow! I did not even know there is something called ‘Financial Abuse’. Wonderful to read this.

    “When a wife doesn’t doubt the capability of her husband to earn for the household, likewise the husband should never underestimate her capability to run the household” – Brilliant.

    Well-written and from examples every one has seen, this article can resonate with so many women around!

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Sometimes its all about feeling it deep within and then the words begin to flow, that’s how Mira writes. She looks at every issue with her heart and soul.

  2. Wonderful post. Not only housewives even working women face such words from husbands. I have seen some husbands taking all the salaries from their wives.
    Well written.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      It happens because the working lady will think about her hubby’s reputation if she tells someone outside and just hands over the money, I think its a must that at least when it comes to DV we should think about ourselves first.

  3. Rayla Noel says:

    ‘ micro level accounting..’ such new word/ violations, and we hear little unless a post like this one does the rounds – you amaze me Athenas… one request – could you add wordpress share toyour site ? So I could share ? ‘ financial abuse ‘ – yes it is alive and kicking fr sure…

  4. jahidakhtar says:

    East or West, wives are the Best. End of the story :)

  5. In my opinion, there needs to be clear agreements on fiscal affairs. Ideally the wife will earn just as much or more than her partner, but if not they should negotiate an “allowance” or something that belongs to the woman alone and which she can spend as she likes without having to be accountable to anyone.

    Household expenses are of course shared and I don’t see anything wrong with questioning why a certain amount was spent. Depends on the relationship the husband and wife have with each other.

    Divorce of course is another headache entirely. Thank god we don’t have kids and my wife is earning on her own! Should simplify matters considerably in the case of such an eventuality.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Depends on the relationship between the husband and wife, how is it asked and when is it asked and where is it asked? A one to one discussion secretly is okay but in front of others is not accepted.

  6. Vidhi says:

    Wow! That’s amazingly written! I think I’m independent today because my mom was and she taught us to be so too.. May hurt the male ego but its necessary.. it solves the basic issue of violence against women, because an independent woman can kick an alcoholic/greedy mans ass and move ahead any time..which unfortunately the dependent one cant! Great post! Made my day :)

  7. Harsha says:

    To me I have seen my Mom managing the home,financial affairs in our and My Father always supported her…though my Mom is just a Housewife,she certainly knows how to manage a Home and every wife or mother knows that…So,a Husband must support her because that way they build a Home filled with Love and Mutual Respect..

  8. Khushboo says:

    I have seen my mom penny pinch just to ensure that everybody in the family is happy. It is a thought provoking post. Thank you for bringing this issue out :)

  1. October 7, 2013

    […] they are being abused and here are a few eye opening posts to learn more about Domestic Violence Every penny she spends is every penny worth, Home Sweet Home and Let us bring violence against women to a […]

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