So Be It
“If I were to die now you will not miss me at all. Within six months you will get married again.” She raved at her husband. Before her blazing temper could get out of hand Manya stomped out of the room.
Somewhere in the celestial abode an angel said, “So be it.”
Manya has been married for the past four years to Krish and mother of the twin hurricane Aryan and Arman. The cause of her frustration as usual was her darling husband Krish. Both of them felt very deeply. Manya’s emotions ran wild like a ten thousand wala cracker, once started it did not end till the spate was over. Well Krish’s feelings are like the Diya that you light in a pot during Diwali. It’s there glowing steadily, he never lets it out.
Manya was still simmering when she dropped the children at her mother’s before she went for work.
“Manya, calm yourself down before you get into your car.”
Manya did not heed the frantic warnings of her mother. She was still fuming at Krish and what she felt as his insensitivity. They had a blow up over something small she grudgingly admitted to herself but as usual words were exchanged and she had got on the old merry go around of Krish not caring enough for her. As usual she began to vent out her feelings to her best friend GOD.
She was still enraged that she failed to notice the lorry that was trying to over take her.
Manya opened her eyes with a lot of difficulty. She looked around her and found that she was lying down and there was a canopy of trees above her.
She leaned on her elbow to get a better look at her surroundings. It looked like a park. She could hear birds chirping and a couple of dogs frolicking in the grass. The park was devoid of any human being except for a gorgeous hunk sitting in a near by bench and was listening to music through his mobile.
As if sensing her eyes on him he looked up and smiled at her.
Though Manya was dazzled by the stranger’s eyes, she was a bit wary. She was in her car and vaguely she could recall a lorry.
Did she meet with an accident? She examined herself to find that she was in one piece.
She gnawed her lip wondering what her sons and Krish were doing.
What time is it, she wondered? Her wrist watch seemed to have vanished.
Her head was filled with questions. She looked around her once more to notice that the stranger had got up and was slowly walking towards her.
“It is strange” thought Manya;” though he is a stranger I am least worried.”
The stranger extended his hand to her with a smile and said,” I am Krish.”
Manya found herself shaking hands with the stranger.
“My husband’s name is also Krish.” She managed to reply.
“I have been waiting to meet you”, the deep voice soothed her nerves.
“Who are you Krish? Manya questioned him. She wanted to know how come she came to the park with only him in attendance.
Krish leaned laconically on the lamp post that was next to the bench she had been lying down a few minutes back.
“Who do you think I am?” He countered her question with a question.
Manya shrugged her shoulders. Krish straightened and once again extended his hands to her.
“Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Manya who was usually very cautious with strangers found that she couldn’t refuse him. She found herself placing her hand in his and the next instant she was standing in a hospital room.
She looked around her bewildered. She could understand that she was standing inside an ICU room but it cofounded her senses how she came to be there from the park.
Krish slowly nudged her and drew her attention to the figure in the bed.
Blood drained from her face as she recognised the person on the bed. It was her!!!!! The Manya on the bed was swathed by oxygen mask and so many tubes. It was very clear that those machines were holding her life for her.
So many thoughts collided in her mind. She couldn’t breathe. Her legs buckled under her. She did not slide to the floor as she expected. Her companion held her while her legs refused to hold her any more.
“Krish, Aryan, Arman…” were the last thoughts in her mind before she slipped into unconsciousness.
The next time she came around she was leaning on to strong shoulders and she realised that they were in the park again. She immediately moved from the comforting arms and started to pace the floor.
“What happened? I am dreaming. I am sure I am dreaming. Wake up Manya, WAKE UP!!!’
She tried pinching herself. “Ouch” she cried in pain and lifted her confused and fear filled eyes towards Krish who was calmly watching her pacing.
Looking into his eyes scared her.
Her eyes began to fill with tears and sobs racked her body, “I am not dreaming this right? I am dying right.”
“God, why am I going through this? Why? Why me?”, she hugged herself and cried out to the heavens.
“You asked for it Manya”, replied Krish.
His answer chilled her to the bones. With tears in her eyes she looked at Krish with question in her eyes.
“Don’t you remember, before you stormed out of the house today, you ranted at your husband that “If I were to die…………………”
Comprehension dawned on Manya’s eyes and she looked at him with terror but strangely was comforted when she looked into the eyes that were filled with serenity, love and a little bit of mischief also.
” Usually the job of ferrying the souls is done by some one else but I wanted to meet you so here I am”, Saying so he spread his arms wide.
She tried to speak, but she could not. She swallowed and tried again while he looked at her with a smile in his face.
“A………….re yo………..u G……………od?” she stammered.
“Bingo!! That is what I like about you. You are so smart most of the time”, Krish , no no no, God replied.
A smile lurked on her lips as the unsaid words hung between them, that she was dumb the rest of the time.
Again he beckoned her and she followed him meek as a lamb. One does not argue with God, do they?
They stood in front of a huge screen that looked like the drive in theatre she used to go with her husband Krish. In the huge screen the fight she had with her husband flashed. It ended with her storming out of the house with her children.
He turned towards with a finger pointed at the screen and said, “That is why you are here.”
Manya tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She broke down in tears. The enormity of the situation scarred her to the core of her being. Heavy sobs racked her body. She cried in fear of not seeing her children and the love of her life any more.
HE let her cry for some time before gentle placing his hands on her head. His touch soothed her and the tears dried up.
He again took her hand and they zoomed to her home. Her children were sleeping, and her Krish (she had to differentiate from HIM right. So her hubby is going to be her Krish from on) was sitting in the chair next to them, gently caressing the children’s forehead. His eyes were vacant and he was staring the wall. Her heart went out to him. Though her Krish was not an outwardly emotional person, she could sense the pain he was in. They were radiating from him like a tsunami and his pain crushed her literally.
She saw his day to day struggles in holding the children and himself together. He saw how her children coped without a mother in their lives.
Krish snapped his finger and they were back to the park.
He leaned on the lamp post nonchalantly and asked her, “Do you know why I personally came to see you Manya? I wanted to see the girl who would stop wherever she is going to help a blind person to cross the road even she was already running late. I wanted to see you, who has tears in her eyes when she sees children begging on the road. I wanted to meet the girl who always considered me her best friend. When you are not blinded by anger Manya you have a great capacity to love.”
Manya had tears in her eyes. She felt Krish’s pain a thousand fold. He gently placed a hand on her head and miraculously her tears dried up.
“You do not know how tough it is sometimes”, Manya spoke huskily.
“Does that warrant you to wish that you were dead? Who does not have problems?” he countered.
Something struck her as weird even when she felt as if she was in a roller coaster at the theme park.
“How come you are dressed in Jeans and t-shirt? The pictures that we have you is always decked up in some fancy dress and kilos of gold………….”, as soon as the words were out of her mouth she bit her tongue. She berated herself. Wasn’t there a limit to her impulsiveness?
He just threw his head back and laughed. It was as if he understood that she wanted to focus on something else other than her pain.
“If I had come to you like that you would have freaked out. I am what you want me to be.”
He snapped his fingers and they were back at her home.
A year had passed. It was her death anniversary. Her in-laws were having an argument with her Krish. They were trying to convince him for another marriage.
REASON 1: He went to office at 7 in the morning and came back at 7 in the evening. He will not be able to spend quality time with the children.
REASON 2: Both the paternal and maternal grandparents were old and they could not take care of boisterous three year old twins.
REASON 3: The boys need a mother.
REASON 4: Krish was too young to spend his life without a female companion.
To Manya’s chagrin her Krish accepted.
With a snap of his fingers they were at the park. Manya was bristling with anger and annoyance. “how could he do this to me?, she ranted and raved.
Krish waited till she wore her self out and said in a voice devoid of anything, ”Isn’t that what you expected from him Manya. He has behaved in the fashion that you predicted him to behave.”
Manya was left speechless.
“Doesn’t he love me? Doesn’t he miss me? Am I nothing to him? The past four years is nothing to him is it? All it takes is only one year to find another woman for his life is it?” Manya broke down and cried.
Krish placed his hand on her bent head. The gentle hand comforted her and slowly her tears dried up.
In a broken voice she whispered, “Is it wrong to expect to know that I am shown that I am loved?”
Krish went on a gentle soothing voice, “Not all people can feel like your or express like you do. Some times you can only sense that love.”
“The same way you sense me, with a lot of faith and trust. You cannot demand in love it has to be freely given.”
Manya hungered for one more look of her Krish and her children. She only had to think and the next moment she was there in her home with Krish. She cannot call that her home any longer as there was another female there. Her mother in law had excelled herself in finding another wife for her Krish. She was the epitome of femininity, all that she was not. The house was always neat, there were no story books on the bed, and the children were smiling again. The change was in her Krish. He was all she wanted him to be. He was hugging the children more often; he openly showed love towards his second wife who did not make any sort of demand on him. He was looking happy. She couldn’t bear to look at her Krish anymore with another woman, but she was glad that he was happy.
She turned towards HIM and said,” I do not wish to see any more. My children are happy and even my husband has found happiness. I am ready to go with you now.”
Krish turned and looked at her and it felt as if his eyed bore into her soul. With a smile he took her hand and again she found herself in the hospital ICU room. Her Krish was holding her hand and was whispering in a broken voice,” Come back to me Manya. Don’t leave me like this. My life would be barren without you. I love you so much. I promise you that I will show all the love I have for you. I will even hold your hand when we go out somewhere. Please come back Manya…..”
Tears filled Manya’s eyes as she saw her reserved husband pleaded with her still form on the bed.
She turned her tear filled eyes from her Krish to Krish, who smiled down at her and said,” I think now you know how much he loves you Manya. Be happy and whenever you doubt his love think of this.”
Manya slowly opened her eyes and saw the look of anguish being replaced with one of joy in her husband’s face. She knew everything was going to be okay. Even though she was reeling in pain, she recalled everything that she had experienced. Was it a dream she wondered, but decided to thank god for the second chance that he had given her. When her eyes closed in exhaustion she heard the deep baritone of Krish answering her in her heart, “You are welcome Manya.”