Who’s To Blame?

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Who’s To Blame?

YOU ME OR USI hope you had a nice thinking time while I was gone. So, let’s pick up from where we left – who are these guys all around us making our lives a living hell?

Get ready for another shocking psychic revelation coming – they are OUR fathers, brothers, husbands and friends……………. Shocked??? I told you it’s shocking but it’s the TRUTH. Are you wondering that how is it possible and I have gone crazy to blame your father/ brother/ husband for such a heinous crime.

And now let ME blame you in return that they do this and get away with it because of YOU. Cool down, cool down and answer a few questions before trying to find me and chop me to pieces. When your father told you not to play hockey or football coz you are a girl what did you do? When your brother was being treated like a royalty and you were supposed to serve him while he was watching TV what did you do? Who told her kids that if their father comes home drunk and hits you then it’s no big deal and he should be forgiven? Who fed their kids with the notion that girls are a burden who should be married off and ALL COSTS (read huge dowry) and boys are a blank cheque which will be encashed at the time of their marriage? Who let their male friends and colleagues crack double meaning jokes and get away with it saying that boys will be boys?

The answer to all these and many more is YOU. As a mother, daughter, sister or friend you have always told them that it’s OKAY to treat a female or ANY female for that matter as an object of your gratification be it physical, emotional or sexual. Now I am going to change this YOU to US and share the blame as at one point or the other, to some extent or the other I have done the same too. So what if I didn’t take it lying down when my brother tried to hit me but I did allow him to escort me anywhere and everywhere even though he was a good many years younger to me.

The point here is that at some point of time in some way or the other we have put the notion in their heads that they are superior for they are THE MAN and we are inferior as we are the bechari, abla nari who needs to be protected from the bad world out there ready to chew us alive. But that’s how our society is, right?

Society is just like a government, for the people, by the people and of the people. The standards of the society reflect what we have taught our kids over a period of years. If today you feel scared when your daughter steps out it is because somewhere in the past you let a incident of eve teasing go unnoticed or even gave your son the idea that it’s OKAY to tease a girl.

Ignoring something thinking it to be a petty issue doesn’t kill it but makes it grow into a monster that we reared and is now ready to eat us. When it’s US who are responsible for this then isn’t it our duty to kill this monster and make this society safe for us and our daughters? And for our fathers, sons and husbands also so that tomorrow someone else’s daughter can’t point a finger towards them for such an act which can land them in jail?

Please do tell me your take on this so we can and we will together take one step at a time and live in piece while our daughters and sisters are out dealing with this BIG BAD world which is supposed to be a BIG BEAUTIFUL world full of opportunities for them.


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10 Responses

  1. shee_shee12345 says:

    Some lessons are learnt only when you see the clear picture, after reading this I know that I am also one among the guilty. Thank You Aadhya for giving me such a clear picture.

  2. jaideep says:

    we all are responsible for this as long as we keep taking such things for granted. There is very less and too scattered real fire that breaks out and that gets diminished so soon that it never gets spread in masses.

  3. Indrani says:

    Like I said before, training should begin at home.
    Unfortunately men of our fathers’ generation are beyond repair, our sons and to some extent our brothers can make a difference. No point blaming anyone.
    Women too should support other women irrespective of the relationship.

    Very well connected valid points in the post. Good one.

  4. Harsha says:

    I always said and always say educations and teaching ones get from home adapt to them..In case of a Girls–She should be taught to stand for her right and never to bend down for the wrong and in case of Boy–He should be taught the moral and ethical values one should possess and treating everyone with respect..First we need to change the Perspective of the People..

    Very Nice Article… :-)

  5. Vijay says:

    The society as a whole is consciously responsible

  6. Albert Pakianathan says:

    Ha ha the cycle of life returns and now you are talking my language – this is exactly what i had said earlier, don’t keep waiting you are the ones who teach the children as mothers that some are born more special than others and that means if you are a male you get special treatment. This is where the change must commence.

  7. uma says:

    The points you have stated in the first two paras was quite obvious that the evil in fact existed in the roots itself . Just one question. How many men actually agree when the women in the family fight for equal rights inside the family itself owing to the family circumstances. There itself we fail.
    I believe the change occurs inside the home first and then gradually outside the society. And sadly, the mental state of human that had been fed with the rules of living under gender basis for decades and decades is not ready to accept this sudden change,

  8. lalitha says:

    Yes the very manner in which a girl child is brought up goes a long way in a kind of person she becomes. We should see that they are independent and value their self respect at all costs.

  9. bj says:

    The matter here is the fault with us that we entertain our self by senseless movies, serials where the young girls show of their body, as the eye is the lamp of the body and if there is darkness there how great is the the darkness.
    As said that the art, music, pictures, novel and the movies reflect the state of the society.
    I would also like to bring the readers about the physiology of man that most of us do not know.
    Man experiences everything visually but a women experiences every thing by feeling it so when a man see’s a semi nude picture his feelings are aroused where as it is not same as for women.
    Men have sexual feeling in his second layer where as for women it is in the sixth position.
    We here see vast difference in the structure of a man and women.
    So i think men you should be away from these types of circumstance and women when you dress please dress properly so that feelings are not aroused in men.

    • shee_shee12345 says:

      Why should you be aroused in the first place? Every lady on the road is not your private property. For every man God has given you two eyes and above that a brain. What happened to something called control? As what you are saying if a man can see we should dress properly, I have feelings so does that mean that if I don’t like you I can slap you or humiliate you? Please don’t give excuses and shame all the men. Not everyone is a pervert and those who are need to be shown their right spot.

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